I figured out that resolutions aren't worth shit. I failed to write after just one day. How does this happen? Have a colicky child for just one day and you will see. But then figure out that your kid isn't colicky but just needs some cranial sacral massage. And THEN figure out that that doesn't work and there might be something else wrong. Then try to decide if you can blog about all of it later. I realize many blog with much worse issues, but this is mine. All mine and my kid's and my other wonderful daughter and my husband's and my dog's. Not just mine.

I am trying to get better at this... My new week resolution is to update this blog every other day with my perils. I have a blog hero, sorry dad, whom I love to read everyday. After tmz and dlisted, she is my next stop. I am everything she hates, but I do wish she was my friend. She is an incredible writer, drop dead funny and brutally honest.

I have nothing new to report on my colicky baby report. He is still unhappy and the new, extremely expensive formula doesn't seem to make a difference except for making his poops a different color. (Exactly what Spotswood would hate...) Waiting on doctor to call me back after a message left last week to see if we can get him on some reflux medicine. I truly believe he has this, and would benefit, along with Jeff and I, with some medicine. I know we have to try everything else first because if baby mcscreamer doesn't need it, we don't want to give it to him. However, we are nearing the 7 week mark, and I am ready for this to end.

Tomorrow is big post partum check up. I am going to talk about maybe post partum mental issue because of my lack of bonding, constant crying along with child and easy to lose it problems. Hubby's words, not mine. We shall see.

Ok, longest post.. Proud of myself. Working out the writing cobwebs and getting ready to go. It is fun. Hopefully new week resolution will work.

Really?

I have a colicky child. That's a little like saying you're a drug addict, but you are ready to commit yourself to a life of sobriety. I am ready to commit myslef to not having a colicky child. I love him, but seriously, when will it end? He does sleep for hours at a time, so I am lucky there. But three to four straight hours of screaming and writhing is killing me. I am constantly crying and everyone keeps saying it will pass in about three weeks and I want to tell them to screw themselves and come over and keep him while I take a vacation for three weeks. If one more person says to me that I asked for this, or that I begged for a year for a baby and Lilly is so great I was sure to get one that wasn't so much, I will punch them. How insensitive. Do you think it is nice after being sleep deprived and grumpy and stinky from not having time to shower for almost a month to hear this? NO!!

THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

Normal... As much as I can be

Feeling so much better today. Thinking about giving up on feeding the kid like God intended, but one more try tomorrow with a Lactation consultant. I can not take anymore 45 minute screaming at the boobs sessions, so we will see how it goes. I will be allowed to drive on Friday and we are headed out for our first family outing, to the county fair for the 4th. Excited and scared... Lilly has been so wonderful these past weeks and I just love, adore her and think she is the greatest! I think she is destined for wonderful things. I see her in the Olympics. The next Mary Lou Retton. Hmmm, or first female hockey player. Yack. Jeff's dream.

Another blessed day of love and happiness. It is now time for work to go our way!

He is here....

James Raz has arrived! We are so excited to finally meet him and have him in our lives. I feel like crap, the c-section took it out of me and as much as I want to document this new season, I am going to hold off for another week. I don't have it in me to blog about my feelings, my son and my new family. I can say this, without all the help from my parents and Jeff's parents we would be up a creek. Life is grand and we are blessed. More and more every day we realize what gifts we have been given and despite ourselves, we have ended up in a great place with great lives. More to come.....

Lockdown...

I have been put on lock down. No more activities or social outings for me. It is nice to be told to stop trying to do too much. Also really nice to have a husband who loves me enough to let me do nothing. What a great dad! He has spent the day playing Cranium, Candyland and Hide and Seek just to name a few. Lilly sure is a lucky little lady, as am I!

5 days....

One more week...

One more week until my little guy arrives in this world. I am beyond frightened by the changes in our lives that are sure to come. I mean, money? Yeah, well we will see how fun that is. And then the biggest change of all, having another child to love. Where will it come from? How could I have more in my heart? I have heard over and over, read numerous accounts of how moms all over the world can love more than one child, but can I? Can I love this little boy as much as I love my little girl? Will I have anything at all left to give my husband? What about myself?

WE SHALL SEE!

Wish me blessings.

Where is happy mommy?

I finally decided to post again today after much not posting! So much to talk about but alas, we are all just waking up around here. So, in the near future expect much discussion on life, sinus problems, potty training, Valentine's Day, mommies who leave us early, constipation and many more non related subjects. Have a wonderful day!